So, as all new employees are made to do at the University, I was made to attend "New Employee Health and Safety Orientation" on Tuesday. Never mind the fact that I've worked for the university in six or so different capacities over the years. Nope, I took more than a year off from my employment at this glorious institution, so I must be re-familiarized with the health and safety procedures expounded by the university.

Which is useful. There are plenty of health-related and safety-related things around here I should probably know. Like where the fire extinguisher is. What forms to fill out if I get hurt here. Etc. It could have been covered in a couple of hours. Seriously. But did they cover it in a couple of hours? Nope.

Instead another coworker and myself were forced to sit there for 7 hours of information that has little relevance to our office-monkey jobs. I'm never going to need to know how to tie myself off on a 40-foot ladder. I'm not going to need to know about steam valves. Granted, we may some day 'walk through a machine shop and get hurt 'cuz you don't know the rules', but in all fairness, if I have to walk through a machine shop, I'm taking someone who actually works there with me.

I also know more about mould and asbestos than I'm ever going to need to know working here. "If you see it, report it, and we'll deal with it". They could simply have left it at that. But nope, we got an hour on mould and asbestos removal. We even got a full-colour booklet in order to help us identify materials we might think are asbestos. Great. My office was built 4 years ago. Asbestos was illegal then. I really don't need to worry about that. Mould, maybe. Asbestos, no.

And did they say a damn thing about the issues that are really going to affect me? Staring at a computer screen 8 hours a day? Sitting in a chair that was obviously not ergonomically designed? Carpal tunnel syndrome? None of that.

Seriously, I think I got more injuries at FEP than I'll ever get here. I chopped my finger with an axe, for pete's sake. I burnt myself on a near-daily basis. These things happen. I'm NOT about to fill out an accident form every time I get a paper cut. I'm not about to fill out a near-miss form (yes, we have 'near-miss' forms) every time I get a paper cut. With the exception of chronic injuries, I think that's about the most damage I'm going to do to myself here.

Ok, ok, I know, I'm whining. Safety is important. But I walked out of that session CERTAIN that it was more directed at plumbers and welders and electricians and other tradespeople than it was at me, and it felt like a giant waste of time.