Prelude: A piece of music meant as the introduction to another piece of music. Usually is relatively simple in terms of its harmonic complexity, with one main melodic voice.
Fugue: A piece of music whereby the same melody is repeated in different "voices" in various stages. Each 'voice' takes prominence at various points in the piece, singing out a recurring melodic theme while harmonic lines fill in and fill out the remaining lines of music...
It's been a busy day... things are finally picking up at work, which is nice - meant I didn't have time to check peoples' blogs 60 zillion times today, which maybe put me into a bit of withdrawal, but nonetheless, I survived. My mother's away in Calgary, so it's just me and dad at home... and maybe because neither of us ever really speaks,
I've had a lot of time to think recently
and I've realized I don't know how much longer I could have lasted. The cold, combined with the 16 hours of darkness each day, the sedentary desk job, and the fact that my mental health isn't the snappiest to begin with have plummeted me into this weird sort of funk that I can't seem to snap. The energy's gone, and I can't even seem to bother with the things that I do on a regular basis, so
I've had a lot of time to think recently
and so tonight I tried to sit down at the piano and prevent the complete and utter loss of my faculties in that particular discipline. It's incredible to know that I can make a bunch of strings and hammers sound like that, but tonight, it just wasn't working. My fingers stumbled instead of skipping, the rhythm just wasn't there, and Bach brough me to tears instead of a sense of self-satisfaction. No matter how hard I tried, things just didn't seem to go my way. I couldn't make it work. That certainly didn't help my mental status, that lack of success. It makes me feel like a failure, and when I feel that way, things around me slow down, so
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about moving out and getting my own place, which brings me to the potentially exciting news I got today. I got a phone call from the folks who run a building near Grandin LRT station. $770/month could get me a one-bedroom with Grandin LRT station on my doorstep, exercise room... not much more than I was paying for my last place with a few more amenities. I can handle that. I'm third on the list though, so hopefully the other two won't want it. If they want it, then I'm shit out of luck. I'm hoping to get to see in on Friday, but sort of want to have someone there to hold my hand but until then I just get to sit at home, which means
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about the books/library materials conservation course. I have an appointment with the Special Collections librarian at the uni tomorrow. I emailed her the other day to ask if she might be able to help with career advice. She might know if there's a conservator on campus, or where I could go to see about financial aid to attend the program I'd like to attend. I get so excited whenever I look at the program syllabus and prospectus, but then reality hits and I realized that I don't have enough money to go back to England at any point in the near future, so I sit at my boring desk job, nothing to do
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about everything that went on during my year in England, and strangely enough, feel a little homesick for the whole thing. I ranted about it while I was there, I raved about it, but there were so many good little thing that just added up and in the end most of my memories were good ones...
I think.
Fugue: A piece of music whereby the same melody is repeated in different "voices" in various stages. Each 'voice' takes prominence at various points in the piece, singing out a recurring melodic theme while harmonic lines fill in and fill out the remaining lines of music...
It's been a busy day... things are finally picking up at work, which is nice - meant I didn't have time to check peoples' blogs 60 zillion times today, which maybe put me into a bit of withdrawal, but nonetheless, I survived. My mother's away in Calgary, so it's just me and dad at home... and maybe because neither of us ever really speaks,
I've had a lot of time to think recently
and I've realized I don't know how much longer I could have lasted. The cold, combined with the 16 hours of darkness each day, the sedentary desk job, and the fact that my mental health isn't the snappiest to begin with have plummeted me into this weird sort of funk that I can't seem to snap. The energy's gone, and I can't even seem to bother with the things that I do on a regular basis, so
I've had a lot of time to think recently
and so tonight I tried to sit down at the piano and prevent the complete and utter loss of my faculties in that particular discipline. It's incredible to know that I can make a bunch of strings and hammers sound like that, but tonight, it just wasn't working. My fingers stumbled instead of skipping, the rhythm just wasn't there, and Bach brough me to tears instead of a sense of self-satisfaction. No matter how hard I tried, things just didn't seem to go my way. I couldn't make it work. That certainly didn't help my mental status, that lack of success. It makes me feel like a failure, and when I feel that way, things around me slow down, so
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about moving out and getting my own place, which brings me to the potentially exciting news I got today. I got a phone call from the folks who run a building near Grandin LRT station. $770/month could get me a one-bedroom with Grandin LRT station on my doorstep, exercise room... not much more than I was paying for my last place with a few more amenities. I can handle that. I'm third on the list though, so hopefully the other two won't want it. If they want it, then I'm shit out of luck. I'm hoping to get to see in on Friday, but sort of want to have someone there to hold my hand but until then I just get to sit at home, which means
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about the books/library materials conservation course. I have an appointment with the Special Collections librarian at the uni tomorrow. I emailed her the other day to ask if she might be able to help with career advice. She might know if there's a conservator on campus, or where I could go to see about financial aid to attend the program I'd like to attend. I get so excited whenever I look at the program syllabus and prospectus, but then reality hits and I realized that I don't have enough money to go back to England at any point in the near future, so I sit at my boring desk job, nothing to do
I've had a lot of time to think recently
about everything that went on during my year in England, and strangely enough, feel a little homesick for the whole thing. I ranted about it while I was there, I raved about it, but there were so many good little thing that just added up and in the end most of my memories were good ones...
I think.
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Mostly I find that I want to punch this time of the year in the gonads. That's right, square in the gonads. I'll knock wood for you about the place and yeah... *hugs*
Isn't it odd how we can be homesick for a time in your life. I still close my eyes and see myself in a horrible apartment with a lovely existence in southwestern Ontario. I can trace the steps of my walk to campus or my walk through the park to King Street, I still remember where everything was on my desk in that office. But the fact is, it's gone. And in the end, that's okay too.
That apartment is in the area we just moved out of--it's WONDERFUL!! In fact--you'll have to let me know the name of the building--
Hugs!
funny how you are always just a step ahead of me. I can picture the very real probability of my coming home and having a desk job and no money to be doing what I would really like to be doing. I am trying right now to figure out what to do in the year to coe, knowing the there is a very good chance that I won't get funding to do another year given that I don't really have a proposal and didn't therefore really try. I have a place if I get the marks, it's the money that's the problem.
Maybe I should write an entry, rather than fill up your entire comment section. A
Anyways, the point is that I am really rooting for you babe.
I wanted to comment first not about the drama, but about that post as a literary piece as both a musician and an editor: Beautiful.
Next, the drama: I have no doubt that your dream-everything is out there (apartment, job, relationship, etc)... Keep up your persistance in the search and you'll find them all.