Moving on
So I've realised that the point of this blog (which was mostly to keep in touch with friends while I was away at school in England) has kind of fizzled and died. Along with my will to keep it updated on any sort of regular basis.

They do, however, say that when you have a good theme or good journey to chronicle, that keeping a blog becomes a whole lot easier. Right now, my mission is to finish a marathon before I turn 31, so I've decided to devote my writing to that instead.

You can find the chronicle of this particular journey at my new blog: Katamus Cursa (which, roughly translated, if you ignore the grammatical impossibility of Katamus as a Latin form of my name, means "Kate Running". I figure this is just further proof that I'm still as big a nerd as ever).

Hope to see some of you over there!
Of ... being?

My friend Nicky posted this on her blog a couple of months ago.

It rings so very true.

“you think you are, and consequently treat yourself, as though you are an old book sitting on a shelf. if you feel that no one needs you, you sit there quietly gathering dust and knowledge - waiting patiently for someone to dust you off and devour everything inside.”

old books

“why do you think you do that to yourself?”

Of keeping in touch
So my trip to Ottawa for the last phase of iLeadership and our graduation reinforced a few things for me.

1. I look good (although this time I have specifics - rather than being the "hot one", which was flattering but generic, this time the topic of discussion was my eyes. Which are apparently of note. Woohoo!). On a more serious note, though, it's amazing how much better I've been feeling about myself over the last year. I don't necessarily think it's 'cuz of the weight loss, which has been great in and of itself, but one of my colleagues slipped me a post-it on the first day, saying "you look so confident." I think I might try and frame that post-it and put it on my desk - a reminder that I really am worth other peoples' time and interest.

I have made some fabulous friends through iLeadership, and I hope that I keep in touch with the vast majority of them as we move through our lives and down our *ahem* Leadership Pathways.

2. If I really want to keep my career in government going, I need to move to Ottawa. While this scares the hell out of me, mostly because the loss of what I'd be giving up here in Edmonton is pretty significant, there would be a lot to gain, and I already have a really good support network there. Going to have to do a lot of soul searching over the next couple of years, I think.

3. I really suck at expressing my emotions. Goodbyes in particular, but just in general. I think it's the WASP upbringing. Stiff upper lip and all that. Someone pours their heart out to me and the best I can come up with is "me too" and "the feeling is _totally_ mutual" or "wow, that sucks" or "sorry to hear that" or "I'll miss you too". I mean, seriously. WTF. That's it?! It's kinda like the poetry and passion has been smushed out of my vocabulary. So if you're reading this blog and you've had an emotional encounter with me lately, I apologize. Please know that I _do_ feel, I just can't get it out very easily.

And that is it for now, I guess...
Of trips
So I'm in Ottawa again... Should be a good week. It's the last week of my formal classroom training for the Management Trainee Program, and should be all right, even if I must admit that I'm still a little skeptical that it will offer much beyond a chance to see and hang out with some good friends for a while. Oh, and I get to "graduate" at the end of the week, apparently.

I'm hoping to play geeky tourist for a bit and go skating on the Rideau at some point... That and I found a really great jogging route that I want to try... But not sure that I'll have any daylight hours in which to try it, and I'm not about to go running by myself at night... So we'll see... May just be the treadmill in the hotel for me.

I know this isn't much of an update... Hopefully I'll have something a little more fun and exciting for you to read soon.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Of festivities
I sincerely hope that everyone has had a wonderful holiday season - although I suppose technically it isn't quite over yet, since there's that whole New Years' thing yet to come.

One of my coworkers sent me a quick message reflecting on Christmas - "So funny how everyone freaks out about Christmas. And then it's over!". It's kinda true, really. I mean... somehow the whole holiday season totally snuck up on me, and now it's almost done. I barely got my Christmas lights up, I barely managed to get gifts for the requisite gift folks... sure didn't get any baking done, or have anyone over for mulled wine/cider...

Then bam! Christmas was here and I was at my parents' and we were eating dinner and the turkey was delicious and then I went to bed and it was over.

There were a couple of other small gatherings on Boxing Day, but of course, by then, the pressure's off - everyone's _had_ their Christmas.

I've suddenly realized that the decade is over. Not just the year, the decade. And I have no idea where the hell it's gone. I mean, I suppose, looking back on the decade, it's been quite eventful. Three university degrees, a year abroad, a developing career in the federal government, getting the hell out of the small town where I went to high school, meeting some amazing people and wonderful friends, saying goodbye to others, new experiences, new countries, weight lost, weight gained, weight lost again, illnesses fought, habits overcome...

I'm not sure where I thought I'd be at 27 years old when the year 2010 hit, but this wasn't it. I'm not good at self-reflection, and not good at visualising... Ask me where I want to be in 2 years, and I can't tell you. There's nothing I'm particularly passionate about - and I've discovered that the few things I _am_ passionate about, require a good-paying job to fulfill (travel, music, history).

I'll be spending NYE at a friend's place - dinner out at an Indian restaurant first, then a night of booze and movies... Then I start the New Year right by doing the Running Room's Resolution Run. Current forecast is a high of -16 degrees C and scattered flurries. Should be interesting. I went out for a run yesterday (-13 degrees) and survived, so I think I'll survive Jan 1. I hope.

While I don't normally make New Year's resolutions (I think they're a load of shit, to be honest), this year I do have a few things in mind:

1) Keep running (if I can lose somewhere between 20 and 30 lbs in a year and 3 months just by running and not really changing my diet at all... win!).

2) Not stress about the whole "relationship" thing (easier said than done, really, but I'll give it a go).

3) Try new things. Be open to new opportunities. Before the end of 2010, I will be able to create a list of things I've never done before that I tried/did in 2010.

All the best to you and yours, and may 2010 bring you naught but happiness!
Of slight insanity
So... Choir is going to Italy this summer to compete at a festival in Gorizia, right on the border with Slovenia.

I, in all my wisdom, decided that it would be a brilliant idea to extend this trip a few days at the beginning, and for a few weeks at the end - which means I will be in Europe for about 38 days, doing a whirlwind tour of all sorts of places I've never seen before, and in countries where I absolutely do not speak the language.

I'm thoroughly excited, but also ridiculously nervous - it's a lot of planning that needs to take place on my end - and while I've received a verbal and email confirmation that my time off this summer has been approved in order to do this, it still isn't officially there in our system yet, and until it is, I don't know how comfortable I feel booking accommodation and the like! Ah well.

So far the itinerary looks kinda like this, give or take...
July 2 leave Canada
July 3 - 6 Rome and Pompeii
July 7-19 is the choir tour (Florence, Pisa, Lucca, Siena, San Gimignano, Venice, Milan, Verona, and Gorizia (where the competition is) and Ljubljana (Slovenia! My choir director decided she wanted to go, since she's never been to Slovenia, and it's ridiculously close to Gorizia).
July 20-21 - Salzberg
July 22-23 - Vienna
July 24-28 Slovakia (trying to arrange a tour to include finding the village my great-grandparents came from).
July 29- 30 Prague
July 31- Aug 1 - Berlin
Aug 2-3 - Munich
Aug 4-7 - Frankfurt/Koln/Mainz (not necessarily in that order).
Aug 8 - home

I know it's a whirlwind, but I'm looking forward to seeing things I haven't seen yet!
Of jabbing... or not
So late last week, I came down with a cold, as outlined in my post a couple of days ago. It got me thinking about some other things regarding my health. Top of the list:

It's here. The H1N1 vaccine has finally arrived. It's available. It's out there for me to receive, for free, should I so choose. Heck, so is the regular seasonal flu shot, for that matter.

And I am so very on the fence about the whole thing.

I usually get the flu shot, as I do have (very mild) asthma, and my dad's a senior citizen. But, my god, are the 3+ hour lineups outside in the cold really going to be worth the possibility that I might be protected? But if I don't go soon... will there be enough?

Oh the dilemma.


(In other news, I had my last two wisdom teeth taken out 1.5 hours ago. Let's see how I feel in another couple of hours when the freezing wears off...)