My core course in Research Skills was this afternoon at 2:15 p.m. as it always is. It was supposed to be about "the research proposal and how to present it". Yup. Sure. Great. If I was applying for PhD funding. They said NOTHING about how I'm expected to do my research proposal for my MA dissertation. Bastards.
Not only that, but we were asked to go around the room and tell everyone what we were going to work on for our dissertations. Well. I have a vague idea, but no REAL clue. Some of these people had theirs down to an exact person. And those of us who did had only vague ideas were given a severe kick in the self esteem.
Excuse me for just a moment.
How dare they fucking tell me that I'm way fucking behind because I haven't fucking picked a topic for my dissertation yet. It was their fucking idea to load me up with fucking courses first - I have two fucking papers due this term, so I'm a little more worried about those at the moment. YES, I know I was told about the fucking research proposal at the beginning of the year. Well. The fucking professor with whom I'm supposed to be fucking working tends to treat me like fucking crap. He's come out with some classic lines like "This guy wrote a good work, for a Canadian." That's fucking reassuring. I constantly feel that because I'm some fucking 'new world' citizen that talks with some ignorant American fucking accent (I have nothing against Americans, btw, this is just how it all comes across to me) I have to fucking prove myself to these Oxbridge fuckers that can't be bothered helping a student. I'M STILL FUCKING LEARNING FOR CHRISTS SAKE! Not to mention that I can't fucking help where I was born, or that I was born a woman for that matter. Oh, sure, you have a fucking feminist wife. Take it out on all the other fucking women you meet, why don't you? You fucking helped me pick a fucking topic for my paper last term, I was in your fucking class last term, and you can't even remember my FUCKING name without looking down at that damn sheet of paper of yours, or any of the other females in the class, for that matter. I came here to get a fucking education, not to be treated like shit because I'm not quite up to your published academic standards. You know, I wanted to be Dr. M. But not if it means have to be such an asshole that I can't remember the graduate students that I work with names. Not if it means that I treat anyone without a PhD as a second class citizen. I will NEVER fucking be like you and if it fucking means that I have to sacrifice my fucking dream then so fucking be it.
Right. Got that off my chest. BUT, before that, we had lunch, my classmates and I, as we always do. Put me in a _great_ move, which is probably why I felt even more like shit when I walked out of that seminar. You see, one of my classmates is a pretty hardcore Christian. He's big in the University's Christian Union. He even gave a talk yesterday on "What would Jesus say to Bill Gates" (that I didn't attend). He gave us a nice recap at lunch basically saying that Jesus would say everything's crap and it's all how you stand with God in the end. And that that's basically what Jesus would say to tsunami victims as well.
But the question of the cartoons that have been published here in Europe that are of such major offense to a lot of Muslims out there came up. Oops. I made the mistake of asserting my opinion that I can absolutely see why they're offended. It is one of the BIGGEST blasphemies to create an image of the prophet Mohammed. I'd be fucking pissed off if someone offended my sensibilites that badly.
He replied that people draw nasty cartoons of Jesus and Buddha all the time.
That's not the point. The point is that it's offensive to have an IMAGE of the prophet in the first fucking place.
But anywho, I said something about why can't we just show some tolerance and respect. Well. Shit. Suddenly I was being attacked for not allowing a dialogue that would "lead us to the truth". Did I say anything about cutting off the lines of communication? Did I say anything about not talking to people of various religions and learning about what they believe? Did I say anything about closing my mind to what he has to say? No! I just believe that I want to hear more than ONE person/religion's POV. I want a rounded, "liberal-arts" philosophy on religion and spirituality, thank you. I've got news for you buddy. My version of truth is not your version of truth. I don't know if I have a version of truth. And that's the rub with these people. They are so convinced they're 'right' that even if I refuse to see things his way, he's not going to leave it alone. It's his 'duty' to try and put me on the path of righteousness. To save my soul or whatever.
Just leave me alone and understand that my God/dess is my own and yours will not supplant it.
Not only that, but we were asked to go around the room and tell everyone what we were going to work on for our dissertations. Well. I have a vague idea, but no REAL clue. Some of these people had theirs down to an exact person. And those of us who did had only vague ideas were given a severe kick in the self esteem.
Excuse me for just a moment.
How dare they fucking tell me that I'm way fucking behind because I haven't fucking picked a topic for my dissertation yet. It was their fucking idea to load me up with fucking courses first - I have two fucking papers due this term, so I'm a little more worried about those at the moment. YES, I know I was told about the fucking research proposal at the beginning of the year. Well. The fucking professor with whom I'm supposed to be fucking working tends to treat me like fucking crap. He's come out with some classic lines like "This guy wrote a good work, for a Canadian." That's fucking reassuring. I constantly feel that because I'm some fucking 'new world' citizen that talks with some ignorant American fucking accent (I have nothing against Americans, btw, this is just how it all comes across to me) I have to fucking prove myself to these Oxbridge fuckers that can't be bothered helping a student. I'M STILL FUCKING LEARNING FOR CHRISTS SAKE! Not to mention that I can't fucking help where I was born, or that I was born a woman for that matter. Oh, sure, you have a fucking feminist wife. Take it out on all the other fucking women you meet, why don't you? You fucking helped me pick a fucking topic for my paper last term, I was in your fucking class last term, and you can't even remember my FUCKING name without looking down at that damn sheet of paper of yours, or any of the other females in the class, for that matter. I came here to get a fucking education, not to be treated like shit because I'm not quite up to your published academic standards. You know, I wanted to be Dr. M. But not if it means have to be such an asshole that I can't remember the graduate students that I work with names. Not if it means that I treat anyone without a PhD as a second class citizen. I will NEVER fucking be like you and if it fucking means that I have to sacrifice my fucking dream then so fucking be it.
Right. Got that off my chest. BUT, before that, we had lunch, my classmates and I, as we always do. Put me in a _great_ move, which is probably why I felt even more like shit when I walked out of that seminar. You see, one of my classmates is a pretty hardcore Christian. He's big in the University's Christian Union. He even gave a talk yesterday on "What would Jesus say to Bill Gates" (that I didn't attend). He gave us a nice recap at lunch basically saying that Jesus would say everything's crap and it's all how you stand with God in the end. And that that's basically what Jesus would say to tsunami victims as well.
But the question of the cartoons that have been published here in Europe that are of such major offense to a lot of Muslims out there came up. Oops. I made the mistake of asserting my opinion that I can absolutely see why they're offended. It is one of the BIGGEST blasphemies to create an image of the prophet Mohammed. I'd be fucking pissed off if someone offended my sensibilites that badly.
He replied that people draw nasty cartoons of Jesus and Buddha all the time.
That's not the point. The point is that it's offensive to have an IMAGE of the prophet in the first fucking place.
But anywho, I said something about why can't we just show some tolerance and respect. Well. Shit. Suddenly I was being attacked for not allowing a dialogue that would "lead us to the truth". Did I say anything about cutting off the lines of communication? Did I say anything about not talking to people of various religions and learning about what they believe? Did I say anything about closing my mind to what he has to say? No! I just believe that I want to hear more than ONE person/religion's POV. I want a rounded, "liberal-arts" philosophy on religion and spirituality, thank you. I've got news for you buddy. My version of truth is not your version of truth. I don't know if I have a version of truth. And that's the rub with these people. They are so convinced they're 'right' that even if I refuse to see things his way, he's not going to leave it alone. It's his 'duty' to try and put me on the path of righteousness. To save my soul or whatever.
Just leave me alone and understand that my God/dess is my own and yours will not supplant it.
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*claps with fervor*
Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
Are you done?
*grin*
That was the best rant I've heard out of you in a while! What's with these Christians lately? :)
I sympathize, seriously I do. (I know you know, because you read my blog...)
But I also sympathize with the whole university thing too. That's seriously shitty and I'm supprised that it's taken you this long to blow your top. (I would have for sure by now.)
Knock 'em dead girl. That's all I can say... knock 'em dead.
Oh... and don't let them associate you with the Americans. You're NOT.
You go girl. Get on that soapbox and let them know how you feel!
Re: your Oxbridge rant: I'm about at the same place right now. Good to know that someone else is as pissed off as me about how they treat 'new world' imports here.
Hmmm ... you don't wanna come and study English lit in Mainz? :O)
wow. that's a thorough use of "fucking" - i hope you haven't been spending too long reading my toilet mouthed blog.
i always do find it interesting that people seem to be able to wax lyrical about "what jesus would say today" - very strange.