My mom told me today that one of her coworkers has cancer.
Problem is, I know this coworker. I worked in that office one summer, and it was 4 months of sheer hell, with a few bright moments along the way. I was The Student, The Inexperienced, The "She's only here four months, no point training her, or letting her do anything remotely important."
There were, however, a couple of people in that office that went out of their way to teach me new things, let me do new tasks, learn about the ins and outs of that particular governmental department. Kathy was one of those bright spots. Her bubbly personality made it a pleasure to work with her and she continues to ask after me and find out how I'm doing.
And now she has cancer. Not "oh, good thing we caught it early, so let's eradicate it" cancer. Not "Hm, this doesn't look good, but we have several options available" cancer. Nope. It's "this is bad, we'll try chemo but..." cancer.
And she's alone.
Her kids have moved out, scattered across the country, and she's divorced...
And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Why does it always take the good ones? Why did it mess with Vicki? Why did it take Bev a little over a year ago? And why Kathy now? Why can't it mess with someone in my life that I can just go "oh, that's too bad", and leave it at that?
Dammit, I feel so bloody small and useless...
Problem is, I know this coworker. I worked in that office one summer, and it was 4 months of sheer hell, with a few bright moments along the way. I was The Student, The Inexperienced, The "She's only here four months, no point training her, or letting her do anything remotely important."
There were, however, a couple of people in that office that went out of their way to teach me new things, let me do new tasks, learn about the ins and outs of that particular governmental department. Kathy was one of those bright spots. Her bubbly personality made it a pleasure to work with her and she continues to ask after me and find out how I'm doing.
And now she has cancer. Not "oh, good thing we caught it early, so let's eradicate it" cancer. Not "Hm, this doesn't look good, but we have several options available" cancer. Nope. It's "this is bad, we'll try chemo but..." cancer.
And she's alone.
Her kids have moved out, scattered across the country, and she's divorced...
And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Why does it always take the good ones? Why did it mess with Vicki? Why did it take Bev a little over a year ago? And why Kathy now? Why can't it mess with someone in my life that I can just go "oh, that's too bad", and leave it at that?
Dammit, I feel so bloody small and useless...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
shit. That sucks. I haven't had a real experience with cancer, the closest is when I learnt that the receptinist at at the u of a classics department had inoperable cancer... she went to see the doctor with a sore throat, came out with 3 months to live and a daughter to tell. Seriously, humanity is a bizarre bizarre thing that you can't think about too much or you'd go crazy.
small and useless to some, but immensely important and the world to others.
Crispy - Thanks for that (and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way) - I think T had told me that Deitlind had cancer, but I'd forgotten until today. I was able to visit her website and email her today, thank God. But when I think about the last 1.5-2 years... Vicki seems to be cancer free, genderist, Beth, Kathy and Deitlind are battling... and then there are the names of those who've succumbed... Bev, Trish... It's like it's just been taking all the people who have been nice to me. It hurts.
I'm sorry for your misfortunes, m'dear. I don't think there is much I could say to comfort you, except that you may take comfort from a solid viewing of Ikiru, which is about a man who has 5 monthes to live, but also about agency and the small hero. And its not a movie of the week type thing. Things aren't always fair, but they do work out. Have faith.
Cancer sucks.
hey Kate. That's awful to hear, but Kathy is obviously not alone if she has compassionate people around her in Edmonton such as yourself and your mom?
Amy