So my trip to Ottawa for the last phase of iLeadership and our graduation reinforced a few things for me.

1. I look good (although this time I have specifics - rather than being the "hot one", which was flattering but generic, this time the topic of discussion was my eyes. Which are apparently of note. Woohoo!). On a more serious note, though, it's amazing how much better I've been feeling about myself over the last year. I don't necessarily think it's 'cuz of the weight loss, which has been great in and of itself, but one of my colleagues slipped me a post-it on the first day, saying "you look so confident." I think I might try and frame that post-it and put it on my desk - a reminder that I really am worth other peoples' time and interest.

I have made some fabulous friends through iLeadership, and I hope that I keep in touch with the vast majority of them as we move through our lives and down our *ahem* Leadership Pathways.

2. If I really want to keep my career in government going, I need to move to Ottawa. While this scares the hell out of me, mostly because the loss of what I'd be giving up here in Edmonton is pretty significant, there would be a lot to gain, and I already have a really good support network there. Going to have to do a lot of soul searching over the next couple of years, I think.

3. I really suck at expressing my emotions. Goodbyes in particular, but just in general. I think it's the WASP upbringing. Stiff upper lip and all that. Someone pours their heart out to me and the best I can come up with is "me too" and "the feeling is _totally_ mutual" or "wow, that sucks" or "sorry to hear that" or "I'll miss you too". I mean, seriously. WTF. That's it?! It's kinda like the poetry and passion has been smushed out of my vocabulary. So if you're reading this blog and you've had an emotional encounter with me lately, I apologize. Please know that I _do_ feel, I just can't get it out very easily.

And that is it for now, I guess...

So I'm in Ottawa again... Should be a good week. It's the last week of my formal classroom training for the Management Trainee Program, and should be all right, even if I must admit that I'm still a little skeptical that it will offer much beyond a chance to see and hang out with some good friends for a while. Oh, and I get to "graduate" at the end of the week, apparently.

I'm hoping to play geeky tourist for a bit and go skating on the Rideau at some point... That and I found a really great jogging route that I want to try... But not sure that I'll have any daylight hours in which to try it, and I'm not about to go running by myself at night... So we'll see... May just be the treadmill in the hotel for me.

I know this isn't much of an update... Hopefully I'll have something a little more fun and exciting for you to read soon.


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