An Interview with Melissa Morgan
6 years ago
29Oct2008
So.
I have a friend.
She tried getting a job with a police force, and for various reasons, it didn't work out. She was bummed. Seriously bummed. But we were around, we let her take things as she needed to take them and tell us what she needed to tell us when she wanted to tell us, offered support, advice, guidance. She picked herself up, moved on, and applied for another job.
I'm not going to lie, I feel partly responsible, since I was one of the folks who suggested this option to her.
She was sent home from training today for failing a test in their stringent recruitment process (by 4%. I understand that they have stringent cut-off points for these tests, but still... 4%? Could she not retake?).
I am completely at a loss as to what to say or do for her this time around. I feel that while I can offer support, that's about it, as my advice and guidance have obviously not been what they needed to be. I feel like I should be doing something, but what the hell is there to do?
So.
I have a friend.
She tried getting a job with a police force, and for various reasons, it didn't work out. She was bummed. Seriously bummed. But we were around, we let her take things as she needed to take them and tell us what she needed to tell us when she wanted to tell us, offered support, advice, guidance. She picked herself up, moved on, and applied for another job.
I'm not going to lie, I feel partly responsible, since I was one of the folks who suggested this option to her.
She was sent home from training today for failing a test in their stringent recruitment process (by 4%. I understand that they have stringent cut-off points for these tests, but still... 4%? Could she not retake?).
I am completely at a loss as to what to say or do for her this time around. I feel that while I can offer support, that's about it, as my advice and guidance have obviously not been what they needed to be. I feel like I should be doing something, but what the hell is there to do?
19Oct2008
So I don't know why Blogger won't show the date that I make posts any more, now that I've switched to the new template, but whatever. Hence the date at the top of the post.
I'm worried, my friends. And the bitch of it all is that there's nothing I can do about the worries - it's all beyond my control.
So I don't know why Blogger won't show the date that I make posts any more, now that I've switched to the new template, but whatever. Hence the date at the top of the post.
I'm worried, my friends. And the bitch of it all is that there's nothing I can do about the worries - it's all beyond my control.
- Dad's got another spot. Fingers crossed it's just that - a spot, and not the skin cancer again. But I'm worried about it.
- Mom's overworked. To the point where it's actually affecting her health. She's always had low blood pressure... her normal is medically generally a bit low. These last few weeks it's been high. Not just slightly elevated back into the 'normal' range, but into the 'high' range, even medically. She's never going to earn a full pension - she hasn't worked for the government long enough - but if she retires before 65 she'll be penalized even further. That means nearly 6 years to go for her. I'm worried she won't last that long.
- The program I'm on for work didn't do any recruiting this year. With the economic uncertainty, it makes me worry that we're heading back into the layoffs of the mid-90s again within the next few years, and let's face it, "indeterminate" status just means that they don't know your end date, not that they can't fire you. Hell, even if they don't fire me, they could end the program and shuffle me off to somewhere I don't want to be... And that worries me.
- Going in to the doctor tomorrow to get the results from those lab tests (yes, I've put it off this long so I wouldn't have to take sick time to go and get them). And I'm worried about what those results will be. (Update - it's low iron levels. I now have a giant fistful of pills to take every day, but hopefully they'll make me feel better. 17h49 20Oct08)
- Still haven't got the money back from my latest drug plan claims or my latest travel claims - and I could really use that in terms of cash flow (no, I'm not poor, but the raise only kicked in this past week, and between all the travelling I've done and charges I've had to put on various credit cards, I could use the cash). I'm responsible for paying off my corporate card, even if I haven't gotten my travel claim back - and that worries me.
So. Went to CowTown and L.A. for the last couple of days to visit regional offices with work. Good times. I'm now exhausted.
Which may not entirely be due to exhaustion. I got a phone call from the doc's office the other day saying they wanted to talk to me about the labwork results, but that it wasn't urgent. I'll probably go in on the 20th. If it's my thyroid, well, we've been through that one before, haven't we? And we all know that having thyroid issues can screw with a person's energy level. Or, it could be my iron levels. I went to donate blood about a week after the lab work and they refused me - too low. Not horribly low, but definitely low. Or it could be something else entirely. I'm trying not to worry about it.
I knew I was exhausted because I was having the BEST conversation ever with the taxi driver on the way home from the airport.
a) turns out he knows my area of town. Used to park across the street from my building when he worked for IBM.
b) guy has a degree in computer science.
c) told the guy I worked for the federal government. So did he.
d) he asked if I was bilingual. Conversation shifted to French. We discussed (in French) hiring processes, various government departments, security issues within the federal government, my job, his previous jobs working on contracts for various departments, French education, etc.
And my French was suffering badly, as it does when I get super tired.
But that is beside the point.
So finally I asked the inevitable.
"What on EARTH are you doing in E-Town if you're a fluently bilingual visible minority, have a degree in computer science, and have worked for the federal government on all sorts of major projects. Not only that, but what the hell are you doing driving a taxi?"
"I wanted some adventure. The money's good out here. Things are good out here."
And I guess it is. Not once did he complain that taxi-driving wasn't making him a living. Not once did he complain about the cold weather or how much better things are out East. Not once did he complain about the people out here. Not once did he complain about the cost of living out here. He pointed out some of the pitfalls of the federal government's hiring process, which are very real pitfalls that I've experienced myself, and indicated that they were part of hte reason he'd left Ottawa to come out here - those pitfalls were preventing him from getting a real, permanent job, although we did reminisce a little about Ottawa itself. He called me by name (after he'd seen it on my credit card), thanked me for giving him the opportunity to speak French and vent a bit about the government, said it was a pleasure (and the feeling was mutual, believe me), wished me a lovely night, and I was almost a bit sad to actually get home.
Why can't all cab rides be that productive/instructive?
Which may not entirely be due to exhaustion. I got a phone call from the doc's office the other day saying they wanted to talk to me about the labwork results, but that it wasn't urgent. I'll probably go in on the 20th. If it's my thyroid, well, we've been through that one before, haven't we? And we all know that having thyroid issues can screw with a person's energy level. Or, it could be my iron levels. I went to donate blood about a week after the lab work and they refused me - too low. Not horribly low, but definitely low. Or it could be something else entirely. I'm trying not to worry about it.
I knew I was exhausted because I was having the BEST conversation ever with the taxi driver on the way home from the airport.
a) turns out he knows my area of town. Used to park across the street from my building when he worked for IBM.
b) guy has a degree in computer science.
c) told the guy I worked for the federal government. So did he.
d) he asked if I was bilingual. Conversation shifted to French. We discussed (in French) hiring processes, various government departments, security issues within the federal government, my job, his previous jobs working on contracts for various departments, French education, etc.
And my French was suffering badly, as it does when I get super tired.
But that is beside the point.
So finally I asked the inevitable.
"What on EARTH are you doing in E-Town if you're a fluently bilingual visible minority, have a degree in computer science, and have worked for the federal government on all sorts of major projects. Not only that, but what the hell are you doing driving a taxi?"
"I wanted some adventure. The money's good out here. Things are good out here."
And I guess it is. Not once did he complain that taxi-driving wasn't making him a living. Not once did he complain about the cold weather or how much better things are out East. Not once did he complain about the people out here. Not once did he complain about the cost of living out here. He pointed out some of the pitfalls of the federal government's hiring process, which are very real pitfalls that I've experienced myself, and indicated that they were part of hte reason he'd left Ottawa to come out here - those pitfalls were preventing him from getting a real, permanent job, although we did reminisce a little about Ottawa itself. He called me by name (after he'd seen it on my credit card), thanked me for giving him the opportunity to speak French and vent a bit about the government, said it was a pleasure (and the feeling was mutual, believe me), wished me a lovely night, and I was almost a bit sad to actually get home.
Why can't all cab rides be that productive/instructive?
So after my last post, I felt the need to see if I actually COULD get past all eHarmony's barriers.
Either they've lightened up in the last few years, or I'm not as "screwed up" as I thought I might be. I successfully registered and got my personality profile. I would post excerpts here, but it's not exactly organized in a way that's conducive to quoting out of context. And in some ways I think it's relatively inaccurate (or maybe it was my state of mind when I was answering the questions or something... I don't feel like I cheated and was trying to be more conservative than I usually am, but maybe it was a subconscious thing).
I haven't paid them yet, so it's not like I'll actually get to do any matchmaking (or rather, they'll send me matches, but I won't be able to communicate with them or see their photos unless I pay, and CHRIST - it's $60/month if you only sign up for one month... or, like, $240/year, payable all at once, there are better things I could spend my money on - I'm not that desperate yet), but I was amused that I actually managed to get past their screening, and just felt the need to share.
Either they've lightened up in the last few years, or I'm not as "screwed up" as I thought I might be. I successfully registered and got my personality profile. I would post excerpts here, but it's not exactly organized in a way that's conducive to quoting out of context. And in some ways I think it's relatively inaccurate (or maybe it was my state of mind when I was answering the questions or something... I don't feel like I cheated and was trying to be more conservative than I usually am, but maybe it was a subconscious thing).
I haven't paid them yet, so it's not like I'll actually get to do any matchmaking (or rather, they'll send me matches, but I won't be able to communicate with them or see their photos unless I pay, and CHRIST - it's $60/month if you only sign up for one month... or, like, $240/year, payable all at once, there are better things I could spend my money on - I'm not that desperate yet), but I was amused that I actually managed to get past their screening, and just felt the need to share.
So I was going to be really good and keep posting my journal entries as I wrote them, but it just didn't work out - I've left the journal at work (which, after all, is what it's about) and will continue to write as things come to me. This whole process is supposed to be about a lot of personal introspection, which is something I'm not particularly good at... but whatever.
So. Ottawa was superfun, even if I didn't get to play tourist. Lots of good people, lots of decent beer (oops, probably shouldn't have mentioned that - but don't worry, it was on our own tabs, not the government's, we're not wasting the taxpayers' money...).
Job is still going ok. I'm learning. I'm slowly doing as well. Yes, doing. Which is pretty exciting. I'm slowly gaining some responsibility. Although I'm still not 100% on top of what's going on, it's getting there. We're heading down to Calgary and Lethbridge next week to visit some of the field offices. There's going to be at least one, if not two trips to Vancouver (one may just be a fly-in, fly-out sort of thing, not even an overnight stay), at least one, if not two trips to Ottawa (one for training, one, maybe, for some conference with our department), and potentially a trip to Inuvik or Iqaluit - all before Christmas! Not that I'll get to see much, but at least I can add a few pins to my figurative online map -I've never been to Van or to any of the territories before.
Choir has started again for the year. We're doing Handel's "Solomon" Oratorio in November. More info can be found at www.richardeatonsingers.com. There are some pretty big names in Canadian music coming out to be the soloists, so it should be a great night.
I've started taking piano lessons again - apparently one of the biggest problems I'm having is just self-confidence, but what can you do? That will just take time to build, I guess.
I have yet again discovered that a guy I'm interested in is now in a relationship. And obviously not with me. Go figure (yes, for those of you who know me on facebook, this is the reason for my status currently). Probably for the best, given some of the circumstances surrounding things, but this is getting to be a pattern, and I'm not impressed. Anyone have any single male friends they can introduce me to? *sigh* Maybe it's time to resort to eharmony... Although I'd probably not even make it past the personality tests (just google "eharmony rejects" for more on how their process works - it's not exactly the most fair in the world, or check out this link: http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-05-18-eharmony_x.htm). At this point I just feel more defeated than devastated, which is kind of a nice change. If you can say that feeling defeated is nice. Ah well.
I have cleaned my bathroom. It is now sparkling. It won't last, but it's nice for the moment. I should probably tackle the rest of my apartment, but I'm not sure that I will.
Went out last night for a surprise party for a friend's going-away (she's heading off for a 9-week course at the beginning of October, so we likely won't see her again until close to Christmas). Had a great dinner with great people, went out dancing a bit afterwards... and was reminded why I don't go out dancing much any more. I felt old. And I'm feeling slightly hung over this morning, which can't be right, since I only had 3 drinks over the course of the night... I'm hoping I'm not getting sick.
But, in all honesty, all the minor inconveniences aside, life has been pretty not bad lately. I found someone to go to the gym with, and when your gym membership at the building you work in is only $40/year, I have no excuse NOT to join, really. I'm hoping that feeling a little better physically will help with feeling a little better emotionally. I've been making time to hang out with friends, and there are some that I need to get in touch with and arrange things (sorry, Magnolia, I keep meaning to contact you, I'm horrible...). There are so many new beginnings right now both in my life and around me that it's almost impossible not to feel oddly optimistic.
So. Ottawa was superfun, even if I didn't get to play tourist. Lots of good people, lots of decent beer (oops, probably shouldn't have mentioned that - but don't worry, it was on our own tabs, not the government's, we're not wasting the taxpayers' money...).
Job is still going ok. I'm learning. I'm slowly doing as well. Yes, doing. Which is pretty exciting. I'm slowly gaining some responsibility. Although I'm still not 100% on top of what's going on, it's getting there. We're heading down to Calgary and Lethbridge next week to visit some of the field offices. There's going to be at least one, if not two trips to Vancouver (one may just be a fly-in, fly-out sort of thing, not even an overnight stay), at least one, if not two trips to Ottawa (one for training, one, maybe, for some conference with our department), and potentially a trip to Inuvik or Iqaluit - all before Christmas! Not that I'll get to see much, but at least I can add a few pins to my figurative online map -I've never been to Van or to any of the territories before.
Choir has started again for the year. We're doing Handel's "Solomon" Oratorio in November. More info can be found at www.richardeatonsingers.com. There are some pretty big names in Canadian music coming out to be the soloists, so it should be a great night.
I've started taking piano lessons again - apparently one of the biggest problems I'm having is just self-confidence, but what can you do? That will just take time to build, I guess.
I have yet again discovered that a guy I'm interested in is now in a relationship. And obviously not with me. Go figure (yes, for those of you who know me on facebook, this is the reason for my status currently). Probably for the best, given some of the circumstances surrounding things, but this is getting to be a pattern, and I'm not impressed. Anyone have any single male friends they can introduce me to? *sigh* Maybe it's time to resort to eharmony... Although I'd probably not even make it past the personality tests (just google "eharmony rejects" for more on how their process works - it's not exactly the most fair in the world, or check out this link: http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-05-18-eharmony_x.htm). At this point I just feel more defeated than devastated, which is kind of a nice change. If you can say that feeling defeated is nice. Ah well.
I have cleaned my bathroom. It is now sparkling. It won't last, but it's nice for the moment. I should probably tackle the rest of my apartment, but I'm not sure that I will.
Went out last night for a surprise party for a friend's going-away (she's heading off for a 9-week course at the beginning of October, so we likely won't see her again until close to Christmas). Had a great dinner with great people, went out dancing a bit afterwards... and was reminded why I don't go out dancing much any more. I felt old. And I'm feeling slightly hung over this morning, which can't be right, since I only had 3 drinks over the course of the night... I'm hoping I'm not getting sick.
But, in all honesty, all the minor inconveniences aside, life has been pretty not bad lately. I found someone to go to the gym with, and when your gym membership at the building you work in is only $40/year, I have no excuse NOT to join, really. I'm hoping that feeling a little better physically will help with feeling a little better emotionally. I've been making time to hang out with friends, and there are some that I need to get in touch with and arrange things (sorry, Magnolia, I keep meaning to contact you, I'm horrible...). There are so many new beginnings right now both in my life and around me that it's almost impossible not to feel oddly optimistic.
Just hearing the word "conflict" makes me uneasy. What am I worried about?
- Escalating conflict to the point where relationships deteriorate
- Tension at home and at work
- Putting myself out there
Without censoring myself, I would complete the following sentence with...
"In the presence of conflict, I have a tendency to..."
- Concede quickly.
What connection can I make between my response and my Myers Briggs profile?
My introversion is definitely highlighted in the dominant ways in which I react to conflict.
Thanks to the KCSI theory, I learned that it is possible to be more effective when conflicts arise. What ideas struck me the most?
- I need not to be as fearful of conflict as long as I reflect on what I am going to say.
- The importance of "I" statements is as huge as ever.
- There are different ways of dealing with conflict, each effective in their time and place.
To become a more effective leader with regard to conflict resolution, I have decided to take certain actions. These include:
- Being more proactive in spotting conflict before it escalates.
- Not being afraid to be a director on occasion as the case requires.
- Learn to compromise more, whether in a cooperative way or a compromise way.
- Escalating conflict to the point where relationships deteriorate
- Tension at home and at work
- Putting myself out there
Without censoring myself, I would complete the following sentence with...
"In the presence of conflict, I have a tendency to..."
- Concede quickly.
What connection can I make between my response and my Myers Briggs profile?
My introversion is definitely highlighted in the dominant ways in which I react to conflict.
Thanks to the KCSI theory, I learned that it is possible to be more effective when conflicts arise. What ideas struck me the most?
- I need not to be as fearful of conflict as long as I reflect on what I am going to say.
- The importance of "I" statements is as huge as ever.
- There are different ways of dealing with conflict, each effective in their time and place.
To become a more effective leader with regard to conflict resolution, I have decided to take certain actions. These include:
- Being more proactive in spotting conflict before it escalates.
- Not being afraid to be a director on occasion as the case requires.
- Learn to compromise more, whether in a cooperative way or a compromise way.
So to continue from yesterday...
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Did I recognize myself in the results? What surprised me? What did I discover? What did the results confirm?
Hells yes, I recognized myself. I have always known that I was a fairly introverted person, more interested in facts than in imagination. Having done similar personality tests in the past, I was not particularly surprised by the results of this one. It simply confirmed what I already believed about myself.
Taking a step back, I reflect on my profile to gain a better understanding of who I am.
Where does my energy stem from?
My energy comes internally. I am an introvert. I rejuvenate by getting away from crowds and doing things alone - taking a long, hot bath, reading a good book, etc.
What is my automatic approach to understanding a situation?
I like facts. Details. Give me more information. Be straightforward. Follow the agenda. Do not make me rely on the abstract - give me concrete details and information.
How do I naturally arrive at an opinion?
I am a thinker. I need lists of pros and cons. I need to do things objectively and critically. Emotion plays a secondary role in my decisions.
What is my natural approach to action?
I need to create schedules, timetables, and deadlines. I prefer to have advance notice of things. I concentrate on task completion, and need ongoing feedback about results and achievements.
When I learned of my entire cohort's results, what fascinated me? Do I feel that different profiles will cause conflicts within the learning groups?
I was not surprised at where I stood in the group. I always knew I was an introvert. I was actually more surprised that there were other ISTJ individuals in addition to myself. I do not think it will be a conflict to work with these individuals so long as we use our differences in complementary rather than contradictory ways.
I identify the strengths and weaknesses in my profile. I define certain areas I will need to work on to become a better leader.
I need to work on my introversion. I need to know that it is ok to be more of an extrovert and to take further charge in certain situations and put myself out there at risk of criticism. I will need to learn to be more flexible and less reliant on rules and regulations and previous ways of doing things. I will need to lose my personal rigidity, to a certain extent.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Did I recognize myself in the results? What surprised me? What did I discover? What did the results confirm?
Hells yes, I recognized myself. I have always known that I was a fairly introverted person, more interested in facts than in imagination. Having done similar personality tests in the past, I was not particularly surprised by the results of this one. It simply confirmed what I already believed about myself.
Taking a step back, I reflect on my profile to gain a better understanding of who I am.
Where does my energy stem from?
My energy comes internally. I am an introvert. I rejuvenate by getting away from crowds and doing things alone - taking a long, hot bath, reading a good book, etc.
What is my automatic approach to understanding a situation?
I like facts. Details. Give me more information. Be straightforward. Follow the agenda. Do not make me rely on the abstract - give me concrete details and information.
How do I naturally arrive at an opinion?
I am a thinker. I need lists of pros and cons. I need to do things objectively and critically. Emotion plays a secondary role in my decisions.
What is my natural approach to action?
I need to create schedules, timetables, and deadlines. I prefer to have advance notice of things. I concentrate on task completion, and need ongoing feedback about results and achievements.
When I learned of my entire cohort's results, what fascinated me? Do I feel that different profiles will cause conflicts within the learning groups?
I was not surprised at where I stood in the group. I always knew I was an introvert. I was actually more surprised that there were other ISTJ individuals in addition to myself. I do not think it will be a conflict to work with these individuals so long as we use our differences in complementary rather than contradictory ways.
I identify the strengths and weaknesses in my profile. I define certain areas I will need to work on to become a better leader.
I need to work on my introversion. I need to know that it is ok to be more of an extrovert and to take further charge in certain situations and put myself out there at risk of criticism. I will need to learn to be more flexible and less reliant on rules and regulations and previous ways of doing things. I will need to lose my personal rigidity, to a certain extent.
