Well, folks, my holiday is over. Not that I really got one to begin with, but I had more of one this year than I did last year! Two whole days in a row. It's nuts, I tell ya.

In spite of that, though, I got to spend even less time with my family than I have over the last few years, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

When I go to my 'rents, I feel trapped (part of that is not having a vehicle, part of that is feeling obliged to spend all my time with them). But this evening when I came back to my apartment, I felt empty. Like I'd not spent time with them. I don't know how it is that my family, that I love so much, ends up meaning so little when I actually get to be with them. It's nuts.

Anyway, here's a belated Christmas/early New Year's gift for y'all: For the first time in digital sound... its... me! It's safe to download - I promise. I made it myself.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Found on the BookBonobo's website...

So I tried throwing a small party this evening and had invited about 30 of my friends. I had 10 RSVPs that people were actually coming. Add to this peoples' friends and significant others, and I was expecting about 15-20 people in my apartment this evening.

I had a few last-minute cancellations. That brought my total down to about 12-17 people for the evening.

Only seven showed.

I had a great time with the people that were here. Love them to bits. But that means that about 4-5 people that were on my "Attending" list didn't show up.

And I'm...

Hurt? Pissed off? I can't quite decide which.

At least have the courtesy to tell me you can't come, even if it is just an email at the last minute. Don't just not show.

I think hurt is winning right now. I was looking forward to spending time with these people, and was anticipating seeing them tonight. Instead they've blown me off for whatever reason. Not impressed.

I Am Reading:
Quasi-Academically: The Heritage Crusade and the Spoils of History (David Lowenthal)
For Fun: Santa Claus: A Biography (Gerry Bowler)
Pile of unread books on my bookshelf: 18

My self-imposed attempts to keep up with the BookBonobo project having completely failed, largely due to my own laziness (I get home from work and most nights have no more energy than to play the next few moves in Scrabulous on Facebook or watch some pointless TV) and in part due to other reading necessities, I have joined a book club that, to my mind, seems rather more manageable.

Rather than the noble, but in my case apparently unattainable goal of 52 books per year, I've joined a book club on (yes, where else?) Facebook started by a former co-worker. The Constant and Quiet Book Club will be reading a book a month, and discussing on Facebook.

I'd tried the BookBonobo project in an attempt to expand my reading horizons. It's worked, a little. I've read books that I might not have otherwise picked up. But I still find myself gravitating towards history books, or historical fiction, and it's time to move on. Even one of the better comedic books I've picked up recently was historical fiction (Lamb: The Gospel According to Bif, by Christopher Moore, anyone? And on a completely random note - I saw another copy of this in Chapters yesterday that actually looks like an old-school Bible, complete with black leathery cover and gold-embossed print, along with the gold leafing down the edges of the pages and the ribbon bookmark... awesome! No, I didn't buy it. I only have two bookcases, and they're getting suspiciously full... And while the e-Book reader that Sandy recently purchased does look cool, I still need to be able to physically turn pages made of paper. E-Books are not for me.).

So first up is, go figure, a book that is essentially a history of Santa Claus. History. Ah well. I did vote for it. Spirit of the season and all that. And the history nerd in me was really excited. But I'm sure I will get outvoted at some point in the near future and my horizons WILL be expanded.

So, since this will be occuring, I will, from here on in, provide a revised version of my old "Currently Reading" at the bottom of each post. I haven't started Santa Claus yet (waiting for it to come in at Audrey's, so that I can buy it at the US price, rather than the Canadian), but as for the rest of it, here goes:

I Am Reading:
Quasi - Academically: The Heritage Crusade and the Spoils of History (David Lowenthal) 17
For Fun: Le Parfum (Patrick Susskind)
Pile of Unread Books on my bookshelf: 17

I feel like a bit of an idiot. Today I attended a funeral. I didn't know this woman particularly well. I don't know her family. I don't know most of her friends, and only barely know the rest on a professional level. I didn't interact with her at all outside the university, with the exception of a couple of emails after I went away to England. And yet her death and the fact that I won't ever see her again are affecting me a lot, and I don't entirely understand why.

She was an absolute whirlwind. As somone pointed out today, she was like a force of nature - sometimes a tornado, sometimes a rainbow. To continue quoting from the eulogies, she knew what she wanted, when she wanted it, and as long as she got it at precisely the right moment, she was pretty easy to please. And lord only knows, she's probably up there attempting to micromanage the way Saint Peter runs the gates of heaven. She drove a lot of people nuts at various times. What matters most, though, I think, is that she showed me kindness during a period in my life when I really needed it. And it is that that I will always remember. And from what I heard today, I was not the only one.

What gets me, is that it was yet another person that I know who's died of cancer. It's snatching up the best and brightest, and ripping them away from us.

Dietlind Bechthold was an amazing woman. Especially in the last fourteen months of her life, as you can see chronicled on the short website she and her loved ones mainted.

I will always remember how I finally learned her name. After continued banter about some paper or other I was handing in after a long semester of handing in paper after paper, I finally said something along the lines of "You know my name now, so what's yours?", and it started from there. She'd photocopy papers for me - but only in return for my postering half of the Tory Building... I can still bring to mind our chats about her German courses, the paper she had in storage for me from a prof that I didn't want back, the discussion with another faculty member about the colour of a third faculty member's robes (he claimed 'Crimson', we all thought pink...). She was about the only person behind that counter that didn't scare me half to death - and the only one that ever bothered to learn my name, even after 5 years of handing in papers and picking things up and asking questions.


I wish I had faith. At least then I'd believe that she wasn't gone for good and that maybe we'd get to trade witty insults again some day.


Much love to you, Dietlind.

So I had my first super-bitchy client today. I wasn't able to accept the madam's paperwork for a few very key reasons, and she was less than impressed (and yes, I use the word madam in multiple senses). She was even more unimpressed when I had to confiscate a piece of her paperwork and refused to accept my explanation. I finally had a much more senior person talk to her. She was still unimpressed. As she packed up and left my area, her purse was zipped with such venom that I wanted to reach out and smack her. I refrained, and just sat in silence, giving a 'tough shit, your own damn fault' look as she huffily turned and teetered out.

The kicker?

All this was in French. I'm fairly confident working in French. That's why they hired me. But I still don't know all the 'lingo', so to speak so there are words that escape me - especially since I don't use the French on a regular basis. Part of the reason I had someone more senior come out and explain was because I was afraid I wasn't communicating something properly. But listening to their exchange, nope, I was using the right words the right way. Big wiping of the sweat from the eyebrow.

I was able to step away and get out of the office shortly afterwards, and it was a good thing I did. The whole incident really drove home just how new I still am at this whole thing, and harped on all my professional insecurities. I was left with shaking hands and a feeling that I wasn't performing adequately. It doesn't help that the two others who were hired at the same time as me are both completely fluently bilingual. I feel ill-trained, ill-equipped, ill-informed, and ill-prepared right now.

Hopefully it will pass soon enough.

On a completely different note, my father had surgery on Wednesday. Just day, laser surgery, but surgery nonetheless. Yup. The skin cancer had made a few inroads. They think they got it all, but he'll be going for fairly frequent checkups from now on. The kicker? My mother didn't tell me until we had lunch together on Monday and she just casually happened to mention something about taking Wednesday afternoon to take my father to his surgery. I'm not sure whether I'm grateful to her that she kept me in the dark and didn't make me worry, or pissed right off that she didn't inform me of something that important a little bit sooner.

*sigh*

So I've discovered that I will actually be trained next week. There will be much learning. There will also be much sleeping in, as I won't have to start until 8:25, although it does mean I won't get off until 4:40, unlike my usual 7-3:15 shift.

I have learned that I missed choral performing more than I remembered. All the fun of solo work without all the responsibility to be perfect. Ok, granted, you're still aiming for 100%, but if you only hit 98, there are other voices to help you out.

I have learned that 3.5 weeks of doing nothing but calling people withouth a telephone headset causes shoulder injuries! Horrible ergonomic arrangements. Part of it's my own fault - I shouldn't have been holding the phone the way I was.

I have learned that I can survive on 6 hours of sleep a night, but not for any extended period of time.

And last, but not least, thanks to Mike Rowe and his "Dirty Jobs" show, I have learned that the moulds for bells contain horse shit. And other random interesting facts.

And that is all.