Prelude: A piece of music meant as the introduction to another piece of music. Usually is relatively simple in terms of its harmonic complexity, with one main melodic voice.

Fugue: A piece of music whereby the same melody is repeated in different "voices" in various stages. Each 'voice' takes prominence at various points in the piece, singing out a recurring melodic theme while harmonic lines fill in and fill out the remaining lines of music...

It's been a busy day... things are finally picking up at work, which is nice - meant I didn't have time to check peoples' blogs 60 zillion times today, which maybe put me into a bit of withdrawal, but nonetheless, I survived. My mother's away in Calgary, so it's just me and dad at home... and maybe because neither of us ever really speaks,

I've had a lot of time to think recently

and I've realized I don't know how much longer I could have lasted. The cold, combined with the 16 hours of darkness each day, the sedentary desk job, and the fact that my mental health isn't the snappiest to begin with have plummeted me into this weird sort of funk that I can't seem to snap. The energy's gone, and I can't even seem to bother with the things that I do on a regular basis, so

I've had a lot of time to think recently

and so tonight I tried to sit down at the piano and prevent the complete and utter loss of my faculties in that particular discipline. It's incredible to know that I can make a bunch of strings and hammers sound like that, but tonight, it just wasn't working. My fingers stumbled instead of skipping, the rhythm just wasn't there, and Bach brough me to tears instead of a sense of self-satisfaction. No matter how hard I tried, things just didn't seem to go my way. I couldn't make it work. That certainly didn't help my mental status, that lack of success. It makes me feel like a failure, and when I feel that way, things around me slow down, so

I've had a lot of time to think recently

about moving out and getting my own place, which brings me to the potentially exciting news I got today. I got a phone call from the folks who run a building near Grandin LRT station. $770/month could get me a one-bedroom with Grandin LRT station on my doorstep, exercise room... not much more than I was paying for my last place with a few more amenities. I can handle that. I'm third on the list though, so hopefully the other two won't want it. If they want it, then I'm shit out of luck. I'm hoping to get to see in on Friday, but sort of want to have someone there to hold my hand but until then I just get to sit at home, which means

I've had a lot of time to think recently

about the books/library materials conservation course. I have an appointment with the Special Collections librarian at the uni tomorrow. I emailed her the other day to ask if she might be able to help with career advice. She might know if there's a conservator on campus, or where I could go to see about financial aid to attend the program I'd like to attend. I get so excited whenever I look at the program syllabus and prospectus, but then reality hits and I realized that I don't have enough money to go back to England at any point in the near future, so I sit at my boring desk job, nothing to do

I've had a lot of time to think recently

about everything that went on during my year in England, and strangely enough, feel a little homesick for the whole thing. I ranted about it while I was there, I raved about it, but there were so many good little thing that just added up and in the end most of my memories were good ones...

I think.

and I joined Facebook. Such a useless waste of time. Such an addictive useless waste of time. Which provides me with all sorts of other ways to waste more time, such as this fun meme... which I have copied from my facebook Notes...

And I'm doing this two ways - one I'll use my entire library (a), one I'll use my "general listenage" playlist, which I listen to way more often (b).


Life Soundtrack
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits:
a) Our Lady Peace - "Automatic Flowers" (ooo...kkkk....)
b) Our Lady Peace - "Are You Sad" (OLP it is, then...)

Waking Up:
a) The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo De Silos - "Descendit". ( must be a slow morning...)
b) Green Day - "She's A Rebel"

First day at High School:
a) Glenn Miller and His Orchestra - "Skylark" (How idealistic...)
b) The Verve - "Neon Wilderness" (I _wish_ high school had passed in a drugged out blur...)

Falling in Love:
a) JS Back - "Herr, gehe nicht ins Gericht mit Deinem Knecht" - BWV 105 (Ok, so maybe I'm living a period drama?)
b) The Killers - "Somebody Told Me" (Well, at least it's a little peppier...)

Fight Song:
a) Weezer - "Knock-Down-Drag-Out" (How apt...)
b) Edith Piaf - "J'm'en fou pas mal" (Excellent... just blow off the fight... it's the non-fight...)

Breaking Up:
a) Loreena McKennitt - "The Highwayman" (Well... it's about a guy getting shot for true love... oh, the irony...)
b) Radiohead - "I Can't" (I've got no snappy comments for this...)

Prom:
a) The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo De Silos - "Absolve" (Nice, I'm getting forgiven of all my sins... at prom?!!?)
b) Noellie McDonnell - "Stars" (much better than a bunch of chanting monks).

Life:
a) Jack Johnson - "We're Going To Be Friends" (Yes, I admit to owning the Curious George soundtrack. It was a gift.)
b) Bon Jovi - "You Give Love A Bad Name" (Ummm...)

Mental Breakdown:
a) Paul O'Dette - "Mellancoly Galliard" (by John Dowland) (Apparently I will break down slowly, quietly, and unheard/seen by most of the world...)
b) Radiohead - "Vegetable" (Yup, looks like I'll have a nice, quiet breakdown)

Driving:
a) Gary Jules - "Mad World" (Maybe I'm driving after the breakup? After the breakdown?)
b) The Verve - "Come On" (Not much better for driving, really...)

Flashback:
a) The New Pornographers - "The Body Says No" (?!)
b) Glenn Miller - "A Million Dreams Ago" (iTunes finally picks something a bit appropriate...)

Getting Back Together:
a) Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" (I shit you not...)
b) Michael Frant & Spearhead - "Yell Fire" (it was iTunes free track of the week at one point...)

Wedding:
a) The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos - "Prefacio de Difuntos" (I give up)
b) Neko Case - "Lion's Jaws" (it's got a good sound, but the lyrics... not so much wedding material...)

Birth of Child:
a) Franz Ferdinand - "You're The Reason I'm Leaving" (yet another reason not to have children)
b) Sigur Ros - "Saeglopur" (if I had any idea what they were really singing, I'd make some snappy comment about it)

Final Battle:
a) por nada - "Eastern Star" (yay, iTunes finally picked something that sort of works!)
b) The Muppets - "Mah-Na-Mah-Na" (geesh... what is it, a battle with styrofoam pool noodles?)

Death Scene:
a) Hefner - "The Hymn For The Alcohol" (Hm... maybe I'll die a sad, lonely, acoholic)
b) Jeff Buckley - "Corpus Christi Carol" (ooh, haunting...)

Funeral Song:
a) Skye - "Solitary" (reflection of the sad, lonely alcoholic death, I guess...)
b) Glenn Miller - "You and I" (I guess if I'm going, I'm taking someone with me...)

End Credits:
a) Jeff Buckley - "Lilac Wine" (kinda depressing, no one would stick around...)
b) Rammstein - "Seemann" (I've got nothing, really...)

So, one of my weird things that I do is that I signed up to browse the Sotheby's auction catalogues online (yup, that's right, you can't actually see the items up for sale unless you register and log in... but moving on...) that pertain to things I'm interested in - textiles, antiques, musical instruments, books, etc. It's almost a guilty pleasure - one of those things you're sort of embarassed about, but that isn't bad for you or anyone around you...so why should I actually be embarrassed?

Not that I will ever be able to afford anything being auctioned at Sotheby's, but it's a bit of escapism, I guess.

Every now and then there's something I strongly covet. A Strad here, a book there (the 1481 edition of Homer's works in Greek was only 80,000 pounds)... But for the most part it's just seeing what all those rich English country folk are auctioning off that's interesting.

Today, for example, there's a piece of 18th century embroidered English silk about 75 cm by 101 cm... Just a random piece that looks like it was taken out of a dress that was being deconstructed... but for only £1500 (high-end estimate, could go for more, this is an auction, remember) you too could own it. What you would do with it is beyond me. Frame it and put it up somewhere? And then the conservator in me cringes at the thought of the fabric being exposed to light and such... Ah well.

For about £120,000 you could have a George III pedestal desk dating from about 1760...

£250 for a pair of Victorian ivory opera glasses...

I was very excited for a moment by what looked like a harpsichord... and it turned out it only looked like a harpsichord. It was, in fact, a marquetry sewing box. Ah well. Only £4000 for that...

And only £100,000 for a four-poster George III mahogany four-poster bed. A bargain, I say!



Someday, when I'm rich and famous... Someday...

Meh is such a great word. Syllable. Whatever. And it pretty much sums up just about everything going on these days, esp. since my last set of posts. Not much exciting has happened, not much shitty has happened... it just is.

Every Friday is jeans day here at work. You pay $2 into a fundraising pot for various costs and you get to wear jeans to an office that is otherwise business-ish attire all the time. The last fundraiser was meant to be last Friday, as the occasion for which money was being raised occurred this week (if that makes any sense). On Friday, there were several office folks lamenting that this would be the last jeans day, so I talked to the person coordinating the fundraising, and she agreed that jeans day could go on, as they still needed to raise funds. I sent an email to the department indicating this would be the case until further notice, and got a snarky one back from one of the other manager sorts saying that staff "should not come to expect this to go on and on". I sent a nice, cheerful message back indicating I was going on the advice of the fundraising coordinator person and that we could terminate it whenever the department felt we should give notice. Poop way to start the morning.

I haven't been sleeping well, either. I had this strange recurring dream... not quite a nightmare... all weekend that involved me having to meet the King of Nepal (does Nepal even have a monarchy?!) and learn all the protocol (protocal??? protocol??? Neither looks right at the mo and I'm too lazy to look it up) involved and I was completely unable to do so. There was also concern about payments and other stuff in there... I don't know about you folks, but usually when I wake up I manage to tell myself it's just a dream and go off and dream about something else. Not this time. Every time I woke up I was sure that I'd somehow fucked up the protocol.

Apartment hunting goes shittily. A lot of places aren't even keeping waiting lists at this point, since they can basically fill up with walk-ins.

I found a suit. I probably won't wear it much, since it needs to be dry cleaned, but it's there and it fits properly.

And hopefully the sore throat will not develop into full-blown illness. Cold FX here I come!

But the good-day vibes haven't worked. I've actually just managed to spark a fairly decent fight between my parents. It's not entirely my fault - they were on edge about lord knows what anyway - but I managed to find a trigger that was sure to set them off.

My dad's the one from whom I've inherited a predisposition to mental illness. I was diagnosed with depression only after years of denying that I could possibly be heading down the same path as him.

He's also a fair bit OCD. Luckily I don't seem to have developed that yet, but we'll see. His major obsession/compulsion is with movies. Loves them. He's retired now, what else is there to do, really? He buys tons, and our basement is almost literally overflowing with DVDs. I know he has Pirates of the Caribbean somewhere (which I've never seen), so I asked if I could borrow it tonight. I couldn't find it. My mom couldn't find it. Dad came down to search and that's when it exploded.

Mom began one of her rants about the thousands (yup, literally) of dollars Dad spends on DVDs, and dad did what he does best. Retreat into silence in front of her withering tirade.

It hurts so much, because dad can't entirely help what he does, and mom is so frustrated and can't see that her anger hurts him.

Lord, I need to get out of this house.

Well, now I feel like a bitch.

Whatever it was that was wrong, necessitated her being transferred out of her room and into a new one. Almost immediately.

And she was supersweet on the way out after the meeting.