So I've realised that the point of this blog (which was mostly to keep in touch with friends while I was away at school in England) has kind of fizzled and died. Along with my will to keep it updated on any sort of regular basis.

My friend Nicky posted this on her blog a couple of months ago.

It rings so very true.

“you think you are, and consequently treat yourself, as though you are an old book sitting on a shelf. if you feel that no one needs you, you sit there quietly gathering dust and knowledge - waiting patiently for someone to dust you off and devour everything inside.”

“why do you think you do that to yourself?”

So my trip to Ottawa for the last phase of iLeadership and our graduation reinforced a few things for me.

1. I look good (although this time I have specifics - rather than being the "hot one", which was flattering but generic, this time the topic of discussion was my eyes. Which are apparently of note. Woohoo!). On a more serious note, though, it's amazing how much better I've been feeling about myself over the last year. I don't necessarily think it's 'cuz of the weight loss, which has been great in and of itself, but one of my colleagues slipped me a post-it on the first day, saying "you look so confident." I think I might try and frame that post-it and put it on my desk - a reminder that I really am worth other peoples' time and interest.

I have made some fabulous friends through iLeadership, and I hope that I keep in touch with the vast majority of them as we move through our lives and down our *ahem* Leadership Pathways.

2. If I really want to keep my career in government going, I need to move to Ottawa. While this scares the hell out of me, mostly because the loss of what I'd be giving up here in Edmonton is pretty significant, there would be a lot to gain, and I already have a really good support network there. Going to have to do a lot of soul searching over the next couple of years, I think.

3. I really suck at expressing my emotions. Goodbyes in particular, but just in general. I think it's the WASP upbringing. Stiff upper lip and all that. Someone pours their heart out to me and the best I can come up with is "me too" and "the feeling is _totally_ mutual" or "wow, that sucks" or "sorry to hear that" or "I'll miss you too". I mean, seriously. WTF. That's it?! It's kinda like the poetry and passion has been smushed out of my vocabulary. So if you're reading this blog and you've had an emotional encounter with me lately, I apologize. Please know that I _do_ feel, I just can't get it out very easily.

And that is it for now, I guess...

So I'm in Ottawa again... Should be a good week. It's the last week of my formal classroom training for the Management Trainee Program, and should be all right, even if I must admit that I'm still a little skeptical that it will offer much beyond a chance to see and hang out with some good friends for a while. Oh, and I get to "graduate" at the end of the week, apparently.

I'm hoping to play geeky tourist for a bit and go skating on the Rideau at some point... That and I found a really great jogging route that I want to try... But not sure that I'll have any daylight hours in which to try it, and I'm not about to go running by myself at night... So we'll see... May just be the treadmill in the hotel for me.

I know this isn't much of an update... Hopefully I'll have something a little more fun and exciting for you to read soon.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I sincerely hope that everyone has had a wonderful holiday season - although I suppose technically it isn't quite over yet, since there's that whole New Years' thing yet to come.

One of my coworkers sent me a quick message reflecting on Christmas - "So funny how everyone freaks out about Christmas. And then it's over!". It's kinda true, really. I mean... somehow the whole holiday season totally snuck up on me, and now it's almost done. I barely got my Christmas lights up, I barely managed to get gifts for the requisite gift folks... sure didn't get any baking done, or have anyone over for mulled wine/cider...

Then bam! Christmas was here and I was at my parents' and we were eating dinner and the turkey was delicious and then I went to bed and it was over.

There were a couple of other small gatherings on Boxing Day, but of course, by then, the pressure's off - everyone's _had_ their Christmas.

I've suddenly realized that the decade is over. Not just the year, the decade. And I have no idea where the hell it's gone. I mean, I suppose, looking back on the decade, it's been quite eventful. Three university degrees, a year abroad, a developing career in the federal government, getting the hell out of the small town where I went to high school, meeting some amazing people and wonderful friends, saying goodbye to others, new experiences, new countries, weight lost, weight gained, weight lost again, illnesses fought, habits overcome...

I'm not sure where I thought I'd be at 27 years old when the year 2010 hit, but this wasn't it. I'm not good at self-reflection, and not good at visualising... Ask me where I want to be in 2 years, and I can't tell you. There's nothing I'm particularly passionate about - and I've discovered that the few things I _am_ passionate about, require a good-paying job to fulfill (travel, music, history).

I'll be spending NYE at a friend's place - dinner out at an Indian restaurant first, then a night of booze and movies... Then I start the New Year right by doing the Running Room's Resolution Run. Current forecast is a high of -16 degrees C and scattered flurries. Should be interesting. I went out for a run yesterday (-13 degrees) and survived, so I think I'll survive Jan 1. I hope.

While I don't normally make New Year's resolutions (I think they're a load of shit, to be honest), this year I do have a few things in mind:

1) Keep running (if I can lose somewhere between 20 and 30 lbs in a year and 3 months just by running and not really changing my diet at all... win!).

2) Not stress about the whole "relationship" thing (easier said than done, really, but I'll give it a go).

3) Try new things. Be open to new opportunities. Before the end of 2010, I will be able to create a list of things I've never done before that I tried/did in 2010.

All the best to you and yours, and may 2010 bring you naught but happiness!

So... Choir is going to Italy this summer to compete at a festival in Gorizia, right on the border with Slovenia.

I, in all my wisdom, decided that it would be a brilliant idea to extend this trip a few days at the beginning, and for a few weeks at the end - which means I will be in Europe for about 38 days, doing a whirlwind tour of all sorts of places I've never seen before, and in countries where I absolutely do not speak the language.

I'm thoroughly excited, but also ridiculously nervous - it's a lot of planning that needs to take place on my end - and while I've received a verbal and email confirmation that my time off this summer has been approved in order to do this, it still isn't officially there in our system yet, and until it is, I don't know how comfortable I feel booking accommodation and the like! Ah well.

So far the itinerary looks kinda like this, give or take...
July 2 leave Canada
July 3 - 6 Rome and Pompeii
July 7-19 is the choir tour (Florence, Pisa, Lucca, Siena, San Gimignano, Venice, Milan, Verona, and Gorizia (where the competition is) and Ljubljana (Slovenia! My choir director decided she wanted to go, since she's never been to Slovenia, and it's ridiculously close to Gorizia).
July 20-21 - Salzberg
July 22-23 - Vienna
July 24-28 Slovakia (trying to arrange a tour to include finding the village my great-grandparents came from).
July 29- 30 Prague
July 31- Aug 1 - Berlin
Aug 2-3 - Munich
Aug 4-7 - Frankfurt/Koln/Mainz (not necessarily in that order).
Aug 8 - home

I know it's a whirlwind, but I'm looking forward to seeing things I haven't seen yet!

So late last week, I came down with a cold, as outlined in my post a couple of days ago. It got me thinking about some other things regarding my health. Top of the list:

It's here. The H1N1 vaccine has finally arrived. It's available. It's out there for me to receive, for free, should I so choose. Heck, so is the regular seasonal flu shot, for that matter.

And I am so very on the fence about the whole thing.

I usually get the flu shot, as I do have (very mild) asthma, and my dad's a senior citizen. But, my god, are the 3+ hour lineups outside in the cold really going to be worth the possibility that I might be protected? But if I don't go soon... will there be enough?

Oh the dilemma.

Thoughts?

(In other news, I had my last two wisdom teeth taken out 1.5 hours ago. Let's see how I feel in another couple of hours when the freezing wears off...)

As indicated in my previous post, I spent the last couple of nights down at Fort Edmonton Park working their annual Spooktacular event as part of the logistics team. Which basically means either manning a bonfire (not exactly a painful job - you get to keep warm on a cold night!) or wandering around keeping an eye out for teenagers drinking or making out in places they shouldn't be, and possibly escorting some intoxicated folks out of the park. It's pretty low-key.

This year, I don't know how the volunteers found FEP, or how FEP found these volunteers, but there was a group of three guys on the logistics team that were, to put it mildly, hardcore. They showed up on Friday night wearing their all-black gear, the cargo pants, the "SECURITY" ball caps. One dude even brought his super-industrial sized St. John's Ambulance first aid backpack of black hugeness (seriously, it was almost as big as my "backpacking through Europe" backpack). They made a point of earnestly pointing out to the logistics coordinator that they work security for a living.

Apparently on Wednesday (the information session for volunteers) they weren't really listening, as they had to ask for clarification on what they could and couldn't do over the evening (bottom line, it's hands-off. You give verbal requsts/commands. If things need to go further, there's an EPS officer on-site). They tried to tell other security teams not to patrol in their area. They even indicated "if we need to get ahold of each other, we're going to use call sign delta on the radio, it's just what we're used to." And from then on in, Team Delta Force was born. At least, that's what we called them behind their backs.

The difference between trying to work security at FEP and just about anywhere else, is that FEP is huge. 160 acres of huge. Which is why it's actually probably better to have people that have worked there on a regular basis doing the security patrols. Saying "I'm right by the windmill" to get people to your location is a lot easier than trying to say "I'm by the old, broken down windmill. If you go out to the parking lot right by the actual Fort, behind the trading post, it's up on the hill, but you sort of have to go around a back path to get up to the top."

Case in point, these guys thought they heard something at one point. They were trying to tell us where they were. "We're at the back end of the park. By the railway tracks, near the houses. By track marker 6." "Houses?" "Yeah, the residential area." "Ok, so you're back by the fort?" "No, we're in the bush." (Translation, once we figured it all out - they were way on the far side of the horse paddock by the Fort, almost out of the park and into peoples' backyards. They were probably hearing someone bbqing on their back deck). Anyone who has worked at FEP will realize just how ridiculous saying "we're in the bush" is, in terms of a landmark.

And another classic Delta Force moment - first aid was required at one point, and they were looking for a first aid kit. If they had been paying attention at the briefing, they would have known that the only people who are supposed to administer first aid are the staff (unless it's a major emergency - arterial bleeding or whatever). In spite of this, dude #3 kept insisting that his hardcore backpack was there (in spite of the fact there were already 2-3 first aid kits on site). We sent first aiders to the location. Turns out it was one of Delta Force that had managed to scrape themselves. The only real first aid issue of the evening. Go figure.

Anywho. They mellowed out last night, so maybe someone had a chat with them. Nevertheless, Delta Force provided hours of amusement mixed with intense frustration on Friday night.

I guess it was a lucky coincidence that I managed to get sick the day before I had already scheduled my annual physical with the doctor. And that I had already taken today off work so I can mostly lie on the couch and recuperate. Fortunately it's just a cold, but I've been asked to watch and if a fever comes along I hie me to the ER to be tested for H1N1. Joy.

Annual physical went off without a hitch. Didn't pass out or feel weak during the blood tests, which is one step up from the last couple of times I've had someone try and take blood out of my body.

And tonight, I head down to FEP to throw drunken teenagers out of their Spooktacular event. Yay!

So... I think I'm kind of hooked. This whole running thing is actually kind of fun. Especially now that I know that if I work towards something, slow and steady, I can do it and I can accomplish my goals (yeah, I know that's one of those basic things you learn as a kid that's supposed to stick with you, but I'm one of those people to whom things mostly come easily, and when they don't, I get frustrated and give up).

Edmonton sort of becomes dead for running in the winter, but I'm thinking of doing the Running Room's Resolution Run. Which is outdoors. In Edmonton. In the winter. I'm trying to figure out whether or not it would be appropriate to try and seek sponsorship for my choir's upcoming trip to Italy for doing something so crazy as running.... outdoors... in Edmonton... in the winter... possibly hung over from the New Year's Eve celebrations the night previous.

Not to mention that I'd get a snazzy jacket out of the deal.

This is totally weird. I never figured that I would find a physical activity that I actually liked enough to do to this extent. I even went for a run (outdoors!) on Saturday when it was -6 degrees out! It was great! And with the exception of the stomach flu that I managed to get on the weekend (nothing says "Happy Thanksgiving" like being sick to your stomach), I have been feeling great lately too. Now, if it actually stops snowing tomorrow, then maybe I can go out for a run again..... If not, treadmill it is. :)

I did it!!!!

I ran the entire 5k! Even better - apparently the course is actually 6.something km, when you pace it out with your pedometer or fancy iPod gadgets. So I'm thrilled with myself.

Next goal may have to be a 10k run. I'm trying to see if there's a way to work a 10k run into fundraising for my choir's trip to Italy this summer... :)


This would be me and my fellow runners clutching at our bottles of water after crossing the finish line. Yay us!

I ended up raising a little more than $600, and I'm super proud - I didn't think I'd even make $100.

Y'all are awesome. And for those of you who were wondering if the dogs were there again this year... the answer is yes. I left them with their owner whilst I ran, though.

So last year a friend and I did CIBC's Run for the Cure - a 5k run in support of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. We signed up about a week before the event, didn't do much fundraising, and basically used it as an excuse to walk her dogs for the morning. It was a ton of fun, and immediately afterwards, we decided to do it again this year.

See? It was fun? Where else do you get complete stranger firefighters in pink willing to pose with you? (That's me on the bottom left, in case you're wondering. My hand is at that weird angle because we'd been trying to get the dogs to hold still - there's food in that hand)

So this year, we're more organized. There's more time to fundraise. And this year, in celebration of how much improvement and such I've made over the last year, I hope to actually RUN the 5k this year.

I realize that just about everyone and their entire family does this run, and you've probably already been hit up for donation about half a dozen times, but if you could see your way towards sponsoring me in this run, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm pretty close to my goal - if even 6 people donate $5 (that's about £2.8, or $4.5o US, or 3.25 euro), then I'm there. If you're in Canada and donate, anything $20 and up automatically received a tax receipt (under $20, you have to make sure you request the receipt when donating).

My Donation Page at the CIBC Run for the Cure can be found HERE: TTR's Page

It's a great cause, and so many people have been affected... So please, consider donating. Please.

At the end of July I was sent to Victoria for work, and then was in Vancouver towards the end of August for a day. We were conducting interviews for a BC/AB-wide process, so I didn't anticipate that I'd have much in the way of free time. I was wrong, and actually had a fair bit of time to kill in Victoria. But, of course, not anticipating free time, I hadn't taken my camera. Go figure. So I decided to try and find one of the old-school disposable cameras that used to be so amazingly awesome. I looked in drugstores, I looked in tourist shops - finally I actually went into a specialized photography store, and they had some. So I got to take some photos after all.

First, the Fairmont Empress, Victoria. As I stood outside in the sweltering 30 degree heat, I wondered what it would be like to stay in a Fairmont... I've been in the lobbies/bars/restaurants, but staying at one is really out of my budget. Little did I know that the Fairmont in some locations actually offers amazing deals for people there on government business, so I did get to stay at the Fairmont Vancouver when I was there in August. It was a hotel room like most others, so I've got to say, I'm not sure the money spent on the Fairmont name is worth it... But at least now I can say I've stayed at a Fairmont.


Totem pole across the street from the BC legislature in Victoria. There were a few of these scattered on the grounds.

Fountain at the Royal BC Musem. Super pretty. Lots of birds around, too, and relatively isolated. I was a bit sad I didn't get to go to the museum (I was going to go at one point, but it was going to close in less than an hour, and I didn't figure the $20 or whatever it was for admission was worth it).

Art Gallery in Downtown Vancouver. It was lovely.


Library Square, Vancouver. Several government offices are located in this complex. I found myself wondering if they'd gotten the idea for the architecture from the British Museum, or vice versa... Either way, the British Museum's courtyard feels much more airy and spacious, but this was still pretty cool.

So my building's garbage chute and I had a bit of a disagreement a little over a week ago. On Tuesday, Sept 1, to be precise. It seemed to think I wasn't getting my arm out of there fast enough, while I seemed to think it should let me go about my business. The result, my arm was pinched in the latch. Below, you can behold the resulting carnage. And these photos are today - the bruise is more than a week old. You've missed the spectacular blue and purple, and are now getting to see the green/yellow/red fabulousness that it is right now. And yes, there were some choice four-letter words involved.

I was meant to hvae a promotion interview at work last week on Thursday at 10 a.m.

At a little after 9 a.m., I got a phone call from the coordinator saying that my interview was being postponed because one of the board members forgot some paperwork. No date was set.

This was a little bit of an issue, because the same board member goes on vacation after tomorrow for about a month. No interview before tomorrow, no shot at that raise before another month goes by.

Yesterday, I still had no date set, so informed the coordinator that I could be reached by cell outside regular work hours (the coordinator is two time zones ahead), and that I was usually in the office between 7 and 7:15 in the morning.

This morning, my cell rings at 6:55. It's the coordinator saying my interview is at 7:30.

I'm not sure how well I did... I suppose I'll find out in a few weeks when my results come in...

Wedding was yesterdy - it was a great time. Got to see some people I hadn't seen in a while and hang out with some others I see on a slightly more regular basis...

Totally forgot the wedding gift on my kitchen table and realized when I got to the reception location... but luckily the bride's sister lives in my building and agreed to let me drop it off at hers. Go figure.

Funny story - apparently the groom's brother had a pre-conceived notion that all the bride's friends were going to be nerdy academic types (ie: ugly). When the table I was sitting at (mostly the bride's single girl friends) got up to eat, apparently the question was "who are they?". "Bride's friends." "But they're not ugly!".

But perhaps the most amusing moment of the night came late into the evening. The bride and groom were headed out for the evening, so I decided to head out as well. As I was waiting for my cab, the bride's sister came up to me (we were standing outside the hotel with the smokers), chatting away, she mentioned that apparently the vote from the groom's entourage was that I was the "hot one".

Boost to the self-esteem in a sort of junior-high-esque way. :)

Perhaps I am a wee bit unusual.

Ok, ok, yes, I know, I _am_ unusual. But not in this sense.

Generally, when I start a new job, even if it's not what I want to be doing, I feign interest and do my best to make the most of a crap situation. Case in point, my first job with the government. Didn't really want it, but needed it for the money. Wasn't interested, and started looking for ways out even before I set foot in the door, but still made an effort and tried not to piss people off.

One of my new staff members is a whole four weeks into the job. Hell, this person hasn't even started the job as of yet - the last four weeks have been training. And already they want to get out. Employee A is making no secret of it. No problem, I can completely understand.

But holy hell does this Employee A's attitude suck. EE A sits in the back of the room with her arms crossed. EE A tries to argue with the security guy about the name that should be on their ID card. EE A refuses to respond when we say goodbye to them at the end of the day and huffs out. Snarky comments abound under their breath to the other employees.

My god. EE A's been on the job 7.5 hours, and already we're going to have to have a chat about attitude. This is ridiculous.

***Squeamish about blood and/or needles? Skip the first four paragraphs***

I had an interesting day yesterday. I tried to give blood for the first time in about a year (I was on the do-not-call list for a while due to low iron). But they set up a mobile clinic right in my workplace yesterday, so I figured I'd give it another go.

As I was sitting, waiting for the nurse to ask the horribly invasive personal questions that ensure my blood won't horribly infect someone else, I noticed that one of my staff was out there donating blood, too. Good for him, I thought. But more on this later.

My Iron levels were fine, things were looking good... I got so far as the chair, arm outstretched, veins looking good (I'd made sure to eat and drink a lot of water before going - I was pretty proud of myself). So they poke my arm, and things are feeling norm... oh, wait. That _hurt_. Not just the normal 'oh dear, there's a 2-inch needle in my arm' discomfort, but actual pain. And then came the fun words from the nurse poking me "your vein moved. We've got enough that you can keep going, but we could re-start if it's not going to be comfortable". I sucked it up. I said "as long as you can keep that needle from moving around, I'll be ok, 'cuz it's only when it moves that it really hurts." So we kept going.

Normally, once the needle's in, I'm done in, like, 4 minutes. As I watched the # of grams creep slowly, slowly upwards on that bag (yes, I'm one of those people that doesn't mind watching my blood bleed (normally quickly) slowly out of me). I realized it was going to take forever, so I settled in for the long haul. Cuddled my sweater, laid back, staring at the ceiling (the one time I didn't take a book with me!), imagining all the workers above... And then I started to feel nauseous. Normally that wouldn't bother me. I know I'm not going to puke, and usually when I start feeling nauseous after donating blood, I'm thisclose to finishing, so they can take the needle out, finish up, and then deal with my physical issues. Not this time. After only about 250 grams (out of 500-something a person actually donates to create a unit), I started to feel sweaty and gross - a very good sign I'm about to pass out. I fought it for about 30 seconds, then signalled the nurse. We had to stop.

I realize that most of this is beyond my control, but I still feel guilty whenever I can't manage to donate blood. I feel like I've wasted the time of the nurses/staff on duty, and I feel like there's something wrong with me that I'm not strong enough to do it. Completely irrational, I know, but such is the way things work inside my head.

10 minutes, some cold compresses, and a juice box later, I was feeling fine and was about to be back on my feet. At that point, though, a coworker and another staff member walked by (as I was finishing up recovery), and asked about the staff member I mentioned at the beginning of this post. I pointed him out and it suddenly dawned on me that he was actually still there. Turns out the poor guy had not only passed out when he finished donating, but also passed out a second time when they tried to sit him up. He was out of commission for the rest of the day - sent home in a cab to his waiting girlfriend.

So on the downside - no blood donation. On the upside, extra long lunch hour for me!

Yesterday also marked my last dayon my old assignment. I moved my stuff into my new office yesterday afternoon, which was super fun, especially when trying not to use my left arm (no lifting after a blood donation, remember!). There are several pros and cons to this whole new office thing.
Pros: new team to mold to my evil ways, new office with actual walls up to the ceiling, door, and privacy!, new challenge and new learning opportunities
Cons: new team that may not mold to my evil ways, no natural light, no window to gaze out, and my old team with all their humour and hard work does not get to follow me down to the cave (as I'm affectionately calling my new office - it's in the basement, but it's brand new and absolutely lovely).

So all in all, as I've said in other forums, it was a mediocre day.

So I went to the Fringe on Friday night with a couple of friends that I hadn't seen in a while.

Props to the cast and crew of both LoveHateKill and Bashir Lazhar - go see them if you can!

But while we were munching on dinner before hand, I asked one, with whom I've been in very poor touch over the last couple of years, what she was up to these days.

"I'm getting married and having babies, just like everyone else" she deadpanned.

I bought it for the first five words, and was even trying to sneakily look at her ring finger, but then the babies bit came out and I knew she was totally kidding. Later in the evening, we decided that "buying a condo" should also be added into that generic phrase - either before or after getting married, depending on preference.

I went to a friend's bridal shower this p.m., so that little adage friend #1 shared at dinner on Friday was hitting a little closer to home.

That's not to say that I want to get married, buy a condo, and have babies. Rather the opposite, in fact (except maybe the buying a condo bit... but I need to either win the lottery or have some unknown, long-lost rich relative kick the bucket first). And fortunately I'm blessed with a family and friends that don't ask the awkward "so when are you going to meet a nice man and settle down" question at social gatherings. But with most of my friends at the very least meeting 1 of the criteria listed, if not two, or, in some cases all three (in various combinations - the most popular being the married and a condo/house... fortunately not too many having kids yet), I've noticed that couple-y language is the norm, and when you're one of the only people saying "I" in a room full of "we", you stand out a bit.

But I've whined about this before. Ah well. Like I said in the last post, I've gotten a bit more comfortable in my own skin. Unlike some previous posts, this isn't really a wish to find a significant other. This isn't a "oh, I wish I had what everyone else is having" post (especially not in regards to kids *shudder*).

It's just a short, quick lament for the days when "I" was the norm.




Ps - Bridal Shower was awesome. Low key, no pressure to play silly toilet paper games - and I even won a prize for best score on a "guess how old the bride is in these photos" game. Woot! I can't wait for the hen party next weekend and the wedding the weekend after. And since I know the bride reads this blog from time to time, yes, the love in the house was amazing - but you absolutely deserve it. You're amazing, and I can't tell you how much happiness I wish you.

So I got sick of the old template. I mean, it's been nearly four years... it was time for a change.

This coincides with a change in my job - I'll be staying in Edmonton, but shifting responsibilities within my organisation next week. I'm looking forward to it.

I was in Victoria and Vancouver a couple of weeks ago - totally forgot to take my camera, so had to buy a disposable, old-fashioned film camera. I can't wait to see how the photos turn out. I will certainly scan and post some when I get them back.

I'm also hoping that there's some good news on the old photo front. When I first when to England, I took my parents' digital camera. It was crap. I didn't like it. I especially didn't like it when the camera did something stupid and weird and deleted ALL my photos from my first three months living in England from off the camera. I was not impressed. And of course, I hadn't downloaded them to my computer. And then it did the same thing to my parents after they went to England. All their photos from that trip, gone. But now McBain is offering a service whereby they can try and retrieve old photos from your memory cards that seem to have been deleted. I'm hopeful that we may recover some of them at least! At $10, it's worth a shot ($35 if they manage to recover anything).

It's been a busy few weeks, as per usual. Work hasn't been too nuts, but other things are popping up. I have another friend getting married this summer - and in contrast to the previous wedding I attended, I'm actually quite looking forward to this one. I think it's 'cuz my self-confidence has been hugely bolstered over the last year. I've managed to handle a program under the scrutiny of the ADM, I've dropped 2-3 sizes, depending on which clothing company you talk to, and I've learned a lot about myself, and most of it for the better. I have a car now, which gives me so much more freedom, and I'm just feeling a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to sing with RES again this year. They have a great program lined up, but given the financial and time commitments they're asking this year, combined with the fact that the friend I normally attended with is not returning, are making it a less appealing option. I'm looking into alternatives - Magnolia, I may be hitting you up for Musical Theatre ideas, depending on how things pan out.

For now, I offer you this - the view from my balcony during a recent rainfall: